Where are you?

So sad today, girls.
I know that you will be adults if and when you read this, so I'm going to discuss what's happened openly.
I drove to Modesto yesterday with your Christmas presents, a photo scrapbook of our family, and a letter for Uncle Kevin and Aunt Wendy. In the letter was my ownership of the enabling that I did with Scott and Sarah, my apology for putting Wendy and Kevin in the position that they are in, a thank you for taking care of you two, and all of the things that I have done to myself to make myself deserving of getting to hug you both.
 I held Scott responsible for his actions and told him that I would drive him to any inpatient rehab so that he could clean up and take parenting classes...same with Sarah. I told him that was the only help we would give him and that I knew that he can do it, he just has to start.
I planned to let Aunt Wendy know that I will do anything to get to keep contact with you two, and that everyone loves and misses you so much...all of your grandparents, your Papa and I, your aunts and cousins...we are a healthy loving family that is dying to include you two. I brought the cell phone that I bought for you so that she can use it and keep her number private...I was excited about you two coming home and finding a big box of presents.
But you weren't there. A new family was there, and now I don't know where my babies are. I love you two so much...not knowing where you are is killing me. Your mommy loves you too...but Papa and I were your sober parents. I love you two as if you were my own, and anyone who wants to say that your Nana shouldn't feel like your mama can kiss my ass. I did everything Aunt Wendy required of your parents and that they didn't do....and will continue to keep Papa's and my home drug and drama free and safe for you.
Papa is going to talk to Scott's parents and tell them all of this and see if they will get your presents and photo book to you, maybe mediate so we can arrange to see you. I hope they cooperate with us. At this time, Scott is back in jail and Sarah is living in Coarsegold and dealing with her issues. I am just here waiting until the day God decides I have a role in your lives.
I can't wait.
Word of the day--Hope.